David - The Definition of Irony

One of the fascinating things about having lived in America for the last 3 years is the radical shift from "there is always more stuff" to "oh crap, the environment". When I first moved here the car ads were all "look at my big manly manly car that gets .5 miles to the gallon", now the ads are all "look at my big manly car that gets 1.5 miles to the gallon because of magic ingredient X". Its an improvement, but not much. The key point of course being that, as usual, its all about the show and not the actual, you know, doing.

So there I am, coming off a flight from San Francisco and I land at JFK. I am walking through the endless miles of corridors and I come across what can only be called the Exxon Mobil Edifice of Irony. Its an entire section of the airport devoted to pointing out how wonderful and new energy Exxon Mobil is, how every day they are saving Americans all this energy and therefore the environment... as if that wasn't irony enough, how did they choose to impart this message? Recycled paper banners? Eco friendly water paints? Oh no, they used 40 plasma screens playing the same graphic presentation over and over again. 40 X 72 inch plasma screens all pointing out the Exxon Mobil is dedicated to conserving energy...

The less said about the current American Power = Clean Coal ads the better...

David - Surrendering to Technology

Given that it looks like I am going to be in New York for another 2 - 3 years (long, pointless, slightly psychotic story) I caved and bought an Amazon Kindle 2. For those of you who don't know what it is, its an 'electronic ink eReader'. Imagine a palm pilot twice the size with a grayscale display to read text. I have to admit, its pretty darn nifty. It has a wireless Amazon connection so I can buy 'eBooks' directly from the device itself and they download in 30 seconds.

A cool thing is that they have a bunch back catalogues for $1 - $3. So, I have been downloading a bunch of 1960's Arthur C. Clarke, 60-70's Harlan Ellison, late 1800's Jules Verne and PG Wodehouse!

And the better thing is that I now have 50 books on a device the size of a small diary, which will make the hours I spend in airport waiting lounges that much more bearable.

David - Fate is a Capricious Thing...

So, I found out today that LIU would like me to hang around New York for another 3 years. We are now starting negotiations as to what terms and conditions I require in order to spend another 3 years in the insanity that is the US of A.

At the same time I found out that Mutant Chronicles, the movie, (go to Apple.com to see the trailer) comes out on my birthday. 24 April. Sure it is cheesy, but how can I not go and see it? Its the first role playing game that I ever bought... for those who know the place, I picked it up after high school one day in that weird little Tin Soldier store in Liverpool. I think I then ran a really, really crappy game for Guy, Horns, Crans and Ferris one afternoon. Or as I like to think of it, the game that convinced me I am better of being a less imaginative wargamer!

David - Boy Howdy Is It Cold

So, I was in Chicago a week or so ago. The temperature was -21 Fahrenheit, -31 if you factored in the wind chill.

To put it in practical terms, the half frozen river was releasing steam because it was warmer than the air. I walked the 6 blocks to my hotel with a jumper, jacket, overcoat, scarf, gloves, beanie, boots and at least 3 hits of whisky. I couldn't feel my legs by the time I got to the hotel. I had to go to the bar for another 3 emergency shots of whisky to stave off hypothermia. How the hell Grizzly Adams managed to survive I will never know...

David - Home for the Holidays

The inevitable has happened - I am gradually turning American. I don't say Christmas anymore - instead it is the holidays. I am driving up to the Adirondacks to celebrate Thanksgiving with friends. And I have been seriously considering buying a baseball cap. Surely it is only a matter of time before I start believing that social welfare people is a pinko commie plot to steal my hard earned money...

Oh and in other news, I am coming back to Australia for Christmas and New Years... nothing like a 22 hour flight to kick start the holiday season.

David - Yay Obama

So... Euphoria is the order of the day. Frankly I am going to thank the deity of my choice that there is a faint sliver of a hope that someone has been elected to the Presidency of the United States that stands a chance of looking at things from a new angle. Something this country really needs.

This does of course mean I am off to the temple to sacrifice a bull to the great god Augustus... these things do of course have to be done in style!

David - NY For 3 Whole Weeks

So, it turns out that "The Office" (US version) is less a cringeworthy comedy and more a documentary. The system that was supposed to be launched in Nov, no wait Dec, no wait Jan, no wait Feb... errr.. Mar... oh we meant Apr... actually May... ummm... June work for you? is still not launched.

In other news I have been in NY for 3 whole weeks - in a row! So this weekend I managed to see a play with Morgan Freeman, get drunk in a bar on Times Square, attend a party in Joisey (which included a slow motion streaker) and a second viewing of Iron Man tonight.

David - Charge!!!!!!

I finally recalled the perfect poem for how my job is right now...

Cannon to right of them,
Cannon to left of them,
Cannon in front of them
Volley'd and thunder'd;
Storm'd at with shot and shell,
Boldly they rode and well,
Into the jaws of Death,
Into the mouth of Hell

The Charge of the Light Brigade! Pretty much what we are doing in going to London right now.

Oh - and the winner is me - I now have the record for the longest stay at the New York Millennium Hilton and the Portsmouth Garden Inn Hilton. 48 & 41 days respectively.

David - Waiting for the Miracle...

You know you are in trouble when Leonard Cohen songs strike you as upbeat.

Still in Portsmouth - but pretty sure that I will be in London by Sunday night. No matter what happens we are getting on that plane. Even if the system melts down when you hit the "go" button.

Adventures in Time

Turns out the highlight of my day was wrestling with a clock - and if you care enough you can read the over long version at my blog.

It now appears that our IT strategy is to hope that the pixies at the bottom of the garden are going to sprinkle pixie dust and make everything better.

In other news it has been snowing for 3 days now and I have taken tomorrow off to build a snow fort, or throw snowballs. Or something. Anything that doesn't involve the phrases "Information Technology", "Insurance" or "Lunatics".

David - Insert Something Witty Here

Sill in New Hampshire. Have spent the entire week battling rampant insanity, my only weapons being logic and the unholy power of a pissed off COO. The next politician I meet wot says private companies are more efficient is getting a punch in the face.

Expecting worse next week now that the enemy has figured out I am serious. Which of course means that we will go back to playing "you don't need to know that" games. On the plus side I am so pissed off right now that I have broken through to the other side and am capable of maintaining rational thought - relatively speaking.

In other news I am exhausted and may be going to London on Tuesday. For 2 days. Sorry Fasledan - maybe we can catch up at the end of Feb when I am over for more than 2 days.

David - A Moment

Sometimes life just gives you a moment. One of those precious - yet small - moments that make you grin. Remind you how good your life would be if you could just get out from under whatever piece of shite happens to be raining down on you.

I thought mine had arrived last Friday when due to an office move, I got to spend the afternoon in a delightful local brewery, enjoying a nice drop with a roaring fire. And then it started to gently snow. A lovely Portsmouth winter afternoon.

But it turns out that was just the opening act. I am sitting in the bar at the Hilton. And 4 sailors in dress black uniforms have just walked in. Now if you will excuse me - I have work to do.

David - Oh Yeah - This is Going Well...

I. So. Love. My. Life.

Have been in the Portsmouth Hilton since 7 Jan - and don't think I will leave until 16 Feb. Then I will be in the Trafalgar Hilton (woot) from 16 Feb to 7 March. At least they normally give me a suite overlooking Trafalgar Square (can you say travel wanker?). Of course that is this weeks plan.

Went head to head with the CIO for an hour today. I think she blinked before I did. One of those weird moments of realising that technically I have power... just so long as no one calls my bluff. Like being the Devil in that Piers Anthony book (that's a Guy shout out).

Otherwise - still waiting for Godot.

David - Losing My Composure

So. Still in New Hampshire. IT still saying that we will be ready 'tomorrow'. Kind of like the Annie song - you know - "Tomorrow, Tomorrow, I'll love you tomorrow - its only a day away."

On the plus side my 'frustration level' (business speak for 'pissed off') has reached the point that I used the phrase "f*cking ludicrous that we continue to believe this bollocks" with a very senior manager today. A first in 'inappropriate, non-diplomatic speak' for me.

It may get my point across...

David - Yeap. Thats' some weather right there...

Still in New Hampshire. Snowing all day so we have an additional 2 feet of snow on the ground. Today is my 22nd consecutive day in the office working. Political warfare all over the shop.

So you can imagine that I am one Very. Happy. Vegemite.

On the plus side - new episode of The Wire tonight. More than a little disturbing that this episode and last Sundays' Patriots game (grid iron) have been the highlight of my week. I so very need to get out of here.

David - Bloody Ripper Mate

Turns out that an easy way to confuse the locals up here is to print 20 colour copies of the Australian flag, write a bunch of slang on them and whack em up around the office in honour of Australia Day. Sure its not sitting in the back of Rose St with your feet in the paddling pool, but at least it is SOMETHING non-US of A! Of course you then have to explain what a prawn is, just why you wouldn't want to be a galah and who the bloody hell decided that eating Vegemite was a good thing.

Oh - and it turns out that a 25 minute walk in -10 degrees celsius weather feels a darn sight longer. Especially when that wind kicks up. Of course after the first ten minutes you can't feel your face anyways.

PS: shout out to Joe in thanks for the Stop Petto Being Bored Foundation. Speaking of which - finally got Dawn of War: Dark Crusade working in my Bootcamp partition. Minor amounts of dancing around my hotel room involved in celebration.

David - Still Waiting for Godot

Yep. Still here in Portsmouth New Hampshire. Still waiting for a system to be built so I can fly to London and spend a month in another hotel. I think I will wander back down to the main street and see if someone has parked at a funny angle again.

My the exciting life of an international business traveller.

Am getting funny looks in the bar because I am reading "The God Delusion". By way of perspective - the guide book in my hotel room lists 2 pages worth of "Local places of worship".

David - Waiting for Godot...

So, here I am - still sitting in Portsmouth waiting for my IT dept. to actually deliver the application so I can get involved in testing and hopefully fly to London at some point in the next decade.

Ho hum...

David - Leadership for a New Tomorrow

Back in New Hampshire continuing my ongoing theme of not spending time in New York! The tele is wall to wall New Hampshire Primary ads. Thank heavens they vote today and the insanity should alleviate until a Presidential candidate is picked. Still an outside chance I will be in London by the weekend.

David - Snow, Glorious Snow

I am back in Portsmouth New Hampshire for the week. This is about a 4 hour train ride north of New York. And it has been snowing. In fact the day I got here they had a mini-blizzard in my honour. You don't know quiet until you are walking back to the hotel from a pub down the way - no cars in sight, its the weee hours of the morning and there is snow falling around you muffling the few noises that are being made in the town.